WOMEN and WOMEN

Ya I know my next entry was supposed to be on religion but I still have to read a lot on it so that will take some time. So meanwhile thought will write about something oops I mean someone I love.

This entry is not meant to offend anyone and is just a result of personal experiences and would request this to be taken in good spirit.

Since the time I was a kid I have always loved women, I don’t remember when I had my first crush because there have been way too many to remember. I have always had a love and hate relationship with women and that’s the way I like it. All possible experiences with women and I think I still can’t figure them out, and I guess that’s the beauty. So when I love women so much and I respect them so much why haven I written anything on them???? May be was trying to figure them out and then write about them and after so many years I realize that If I wait for that day to come then I would never be able to write anything on them.

I have always believed that woman was created over a weekend, when god had loads of time at his hand and had nothing much to do. No wonder women become so interesting over weekends and are so irritating on weekdays, weekends are like their birthdays. That’s the only time of the week when men cannot imagine being without them, its weekends when me and my roommate also miss women a lot because rest of the days we have so much to do and we cant waste our time on answering questions like if we have had lunch and if we are going to be free for dinner.

So my dear god started the creation on Friday night and guess he was tipsy and stoned because as they say creativity has got something to be with being high and drugged, so out of that creativity he created an impeccable thing which was perfect by all standards (Assuming that Eve looked like Penelope D Cruz). By the time god finished creating the body it was Monday morning and you know how everyone is in a hurry to resume office on Monday’s so even he was in a hurry and it was in this confusion that he missed out on one thing that is BRAINS. And rest as they say is history. Since then women have lived without that one thing which I guess they are so proud of. But when god realized what he has forgotten he went crazy and started thinking about ways to undo it. The structure was made and he could not do anything about it, so he thought, thought and thought and then finally came up with a solution that if he can’t give them brains he can give them something close to that and that’s why he gave them ILLUSION. Since then they have lived with this misconception that they are intelligent and men are dumb.

This was about origin, since then women have developed a lot. They have developed a lot of other attributes to hide the lack of brains and one of them is enhancing their beauty and that's when blonds and bongs came into existence, who looked beautiful but only till they open their mouth and talk.

Anyways there are a few things about women that I would love to list here

1)Stubbornness:When you know that you are not very intelligent and you can’t fight just be stubborn and just refuse to budge. All kinds of women use it and at all possible levels and the best examples can be seen in your office if your boss is a female.

2)Emotions: I am always winning an argument and then suddenly she starts crying and I lose it. It’s the weapon which has been tried, tested and then mastered by women. Why do you think you always end up saying sorry for no fault of yours?

3)Panic: This is one thing which is found in men too but women take it to a new level all together. Get panicked and screw every possibility to set things right. This is again a commonly felt emotion among men who have female bosses. How much we wish to have a male boss who could be calm and composed and would find a solution and not add to the problem.

4)Shopping: Shopping with woman is the worst and the most dreaded act that a man has to do. It is much more painful experience than getting stitches (I personally hate stitches). They would take so much time just to select one small thing which they don’t even need. Someone should tell them that we do not live for 140 years like a tortoise and we men have more things to do than just waste our time in malls and shops.

5)We know it all Syndrome: This is a very risky and a weird syndrome which all women have. They better find a cure for it as soon as possible because more people are killed (figuratively) by this than by AIDS.

6)All men are dogs philosophy: They know the reason why all men are dogs but will still keep cribbing about it. This is simply because all they have around them are bitches, get some women around them they will behave like men (A Guarantee).

7)Lack of practical approach: They have never understood that what is written in the books is not always the possibility. They live with an idea that all you need in any relationship is love but they do not understand that there are other things also that one needs for any relationship to function, but no they wont understand it because it was only because of love that Rahul got Simran, in DDLJ so all that you need is love and nothing else. God save them.

8)We are equal to men still we need reservation: We can do anything that men can do and we are better in everything but we need a separate queue everywhere, we need concessions and reservations in all possible places, man should get up when they see a woman standing in a bus or a train because this is what they call Chivalry, well I would call it hypocrisy.

9)PMS: I know who ever will read this entry will say am disgusting because am writing about this point but no offenses meant and I can totally understand the pain but this cannot be an excuse for everything and certainly not anytime of the month. So please come up with better ones because you can not go through PMS for 30 days of the month.

10) Honesty: This is the biggest dilemma faced by men. All women want their men to be honest but most of them can not handle honest facts. Your GF asks you where were you and she expects you to be honest but u dare tell her that you were out for a coffee with a girl. Your GF asks you how is she fat and you dare say yes.

They are just some and trust me there are many more to come....